Saturday, October 27, 2012

A Meeting to Forget

A pleasant autumn morning, indeed!

Recently, I had a meeting with a local college president, one of their professors and a Toastmaster speech winner. I brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, put my face on and dressed up in my best dress for the occasion. I've had this dress a very long time. With this dress, I always wear a long black slip with a lace bottom. This slip also is very old.

Do you know what happens to an old slip? The elastic becomes weak and stretches. I wasn't aware of it's condition until after this very important meeting.

After an hour, we rose from our chairs to leave the conference room. We entered the hallway, talking as we went. I felt something down around my ankles. I looked and beheld my slip falling fast. The bottom lace was touching my shoes.

What's a women supposed to do when her arms are full of books and carrying a heavy purse? I could have asked Curtis to hold my purse, but that would have brought more attention to myself and embarrassed him. Through this thin fabric, I felt the elastic band hanging on the widest part of my hips. Another step would have brought the slip over my hips and tangled my feet. That would have been a scary scene – in the middle of the hall with college students walking by.

I backed up against the wall and shifted my purse to the other arm. With one hand free, I slowly inched the slip up on my left side. Then I reached behind my back and nonchalantly worked it up to where it belonged.

No one mentioned the slip and by the time we reached the stairs to leave the building, I was presentable and breathing normal.

I wish I could say I lost my slip because I lost 20 pounds, but that's not the case. The truth is: we all get older and so does elastic. Now I have a big safety pin in the waistband.

Thanks for laughing with me.

Proverbs 15:13  NKJV
"A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance. . ."
Love, Juanita


Saturday, October 13, 2012

Birthday Humor

A happy Autumn day to you! These cool mornings are perfect for a cup of green tea. Thanks for joining me in the library.

Our middle grandson, Erik, turned eight last week and we attended his birthday party in Bend. His other grandma made her usual super creation of a birthday cake. Jean's delicious cakes are animated and one-of-a-kind. I entertained the adults with my Toastmaster humor . . .

My grandsons were visiting us this summer. Craig took the boys to the city park to play on the ladders and swings. As they were driving down main street, a fire truck came up behind them with sirens screaming. Craig pulled over to let the vehicle pass. The boys noticed a black and white Dalmatian dog in the front seat of the truck. The boys began discussing the duties of the dog.

Brayden, the oldest, was sure the dog was used for crowd control.

But his brother, Brogan, argued that the dog was just for good luck.

Erik brought the argument to a close by saying, “They use the dogs to find the fire hydrants.”

When we arrived at Erik's house, I asked him how old he was. Of course, I already knew. Then he asked me how old I was. When I told him I was eighty years old, his mouth dropped open, and then he whispered, “Did you start at one?”

Then he turned to Grandpa and asked how old he was. Grandpa is a big tease, “I'm not sure.” 

Wise Erik informed him, “Look in your underwear, Grandpa. Mine says I'm six to eight.”

Happy Birthday, Tom P. !
Happy Birthday, Brian !
Happy Birthday, Betty !
Happy Birthday, Bonnie !
Happy Birthday, Lynda !

                               Psalm 119
"How sweet your words taste to me; 

they are sweeter than honey.
  Your commandments give me understanding;
  Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path." 

Love to all of you,